the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
