my sisters under your porch take her home
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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