Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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