I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
