We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
