So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I love you.
Bad choice
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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