The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sober January is a disaster.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
