this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
