She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
