Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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(512): View more from Texas

its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love

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(541): View more from Oregon

i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?

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(812): View more from Indiana

You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup

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(816): View more from Missouri

Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.

Fav 13 2360 848
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(586): View more from Michigan

He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.

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