come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
