im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
