I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My dick has a subreddit
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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