apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
