You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
