he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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