There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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