Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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