In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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