fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
