That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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