honey bunches of taint.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
