i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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