My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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