Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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