i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
