hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
