Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
