Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
