I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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