beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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