the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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