Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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