so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
