She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Small penises have feelings too.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
