I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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