Too much gin, very little bucket
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
