stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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