First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
