Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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