i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
