OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
