Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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