You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You did what with his pubic hair?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
