I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Buhtt sex?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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