All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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