Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
