How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
What did we do last night that was yellow?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
