I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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