forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
