Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
