Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
