I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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