that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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