I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
