You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize