i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
