that's an acceptable place to lick
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
