As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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