Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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