Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize