that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
