why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Damn victory sex feels great
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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