1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
