D3 body, D1 cock
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
